An Old-Fashioned Christmas Read online

  An Old-Fashioned Christmas

  Laylah Roberts

  Contents

  Let’s keep in touch!

  Books by Laylah Roberts

  1. Roarke, Sam and Ava

  2. Roarke, Sam and Ava

  3. Roarke, Sam and Ava

  4. Heath and Anna

  5. Frankie and Tom

  6. Kent, Bryony and Cam

  7. Brax and Holly

  8. Frankie and Tom

  9. Heath and Anna

  10. Kent, Bryony and Cam

  11. Brax and Holly

  12. Heath and Anna

  13. Kent, Bryony and Cam

  14. Frankie and Tom

  15. Heath and Anna

  16. Roarke, Sam and Ava

  Reveal Me, Sir

  Saxon’s Soul

  An Old-Fashioned Man

  Laylah Roberts

  An Old-Fashioned Christmas

  © 2018, Laylah Roberts

  [email protected]

  https://laylahroberts.com

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

  Cover Design by: Allycat’s Creations

  Editing by: Celeste Jones

  Created with Vellum

  Let’s keep in touch!

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  Books by Laylah Roberts

  Doms of Decadence

  Just for You, Sir

  Forever Yours, Sir

  For the Love of Sir

  Sinfully Yours, Sir

  Make me, Sir

  A Taste of Sir

  To Save Sir

  Sir’s Redemption

  Reveal Me, Sir (coming March, 2019)

  Men of Orion

  Worlds Apart

  Cavan Gang

  Rectify

  Redemption

  Redemption Valley

  Audra’s Awakening

  Old-Fashioned Series

  An Old-Fashioned Man

  Two Old-Fashioned Men

  Her Old-Fashioned Husband

  Her Old-Fashioned Boss

  His Old-Fashioned Love

  An Old-Fashioned Christmas novella

  Haven, Texas Series

  Lila’s Loves

  Laken’s Surrender

  Saving Savannah

  Molly’s Man

  Saxon’s Soul (pre-order Feb 12th, 2018)

  WildeSide

  Wilde

  Sinclair

  Luke

  The Hunters

  A Mate to Cherish

  A Mate to Sacrifice

  1

  Roarke, Sam and Ava

  “Christmas kiss,” Sam said cheerfully as Ava stepped into the master bedroom. She let out a surprised gasp, her hand rising to her chest. But she kept her gaze down, avoiding his eyes.

  “Sam! You startled me.”

  Sam stood there, mistletoe held tight above his head.

  He puckered up, closed his eyes and waited…

  For nothing.

  Opening his eyes, he stared down at the top of Ava’s head. And waited for her to look up. Hmm. Apparently, there was something really interesting about his toes.

  His stomach dropped. He lowered the hand that held the mistletoe, sticking it behind his back. Feelings of rejection and unease filled him. He hated feeling this way. He’d grown secure in his relationship with Roarke and Ava, and he hadn’t experienced this sort of insecurity in a long time.

  “I just came out of the bathroom, Sam,” she said quietly, moving quickly around him. “And Lily will be up soon.” She had the monitor in her hand. It was always close by. As though she couldn’t bear to let it out of her sight.

  “I’ll get her if she wakes up,” he offered. “Why don’t you have a lie down or go get your nails or hair done? I’ll call the salon for you.”

  “It’s the weekend, Sam. They’ll be booked out.”

  “They’ll fit you in.”

  She snorted. “You mean you’ll charm them until they squeeze me in. I’m fine. It’s my job to take care of Lily. Besides, I’m sure you have other things to do.”

  She left the bedroom. He stood there, just staring after her. That was the thing. He didn’t have anything else to do. All he wanted to do was take care of the people he loved.

  All he needed were Roarke, Ava and Lily. But at the moment, they seemed to be drifting further and further apart from him.

  And he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  And Ava was wrong. It wasn’t her job to take care of Lily. Not alone. But that seemed to be the way she wanted things. To do it all herself. For Sam to leave her alone. He sighed and sat on the bed. This just sucked.

  Roarke had work. Ava had Lily. And Sam had no one…jeez, that sounded pathetic. He straightened his shoulders. So what was he going to do about it? He wasn’t the sort of person to sit around feeling sorry for himself. Sam had his own ways of getting what he wanted. And it looked like it was up to him to bring his family back together.

  Roarke had told Sam to give Ava time and space. Sam snorted. That was just stupid. That was the last thing Ava needed. She needed someone to take her in hand. To tell her that she didn’t have to do this all on her own. And then order her to get naked. He sighed. He’d really love to see Ava naked.

  Because Sam needed some loving. How long had it been since the three of them had sex? At least a month. Even longer since they’d attempted to play together. That had been before Lily grew ill.

  See, Sam was a simple guy at heart. All he wanted was people to love and take care of, who did the same for him in return. A warm bed. Food. A good fucking. Some bondage and discipline and he was a happy guy.

  But when he didn’t have one of those things, it threw his world off. He needed to do something to get his world back on its axis. And he had an idea of how to do just that.

  He just hoped it worked.

  Because there was something else worrying him even more than his lack of orgasms. Even more than the distance between the three of them. She’d been in that bathroom a long time, with the water running. Could she be doing it again? Worry twisted his stomach.

  It was definitely time to do something. Something drastic. Sam was going to need a Christmas miracle.

  Before he lost everything he’d worked so hard to get.

  Ava looked in the mirror in the guest bathroom, checking to make sure her eyes were no longer red-rimmed from crying.

  She was a mess.

  She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Lily was nearly nine months old. Shouldn’t she be more together by now? Shouldn’t she feel more like herself? Instead she seemed to be unravelling more each day.

  She’d known some things would change after having a child, she just hadn’t realized that she would be one of those things. Those first few months had been a blur. Sleepless nights filled with tears and worry. And most of those tears hadn’t even come from Lily.

  But that worry had been nothing compared to what came later. When Lily grew ill. Ava thought her world was going to come to an end. She’d never felt fear like she had in those few days Lily had spent in the hospital. And it seemed the fear hadn’t really left her. Even several months later. She could barely stand to let Lily out of her sight. She’d wake in the night, panicked and would lie there watching the video monitor as
Lily slept. If she could manage it without waking Roarke or Sam, she would sneak into her room to watch her sleep.

  She’d failed Lily. And now she felt like she was failing her men. She just didn’t see how they could be attracted to her anymore. She was different. She had stretch marks, and a poochy tummy and she could not stop crying.

  She was driving herself nuts.

  They hadn’t played together in months. She was a mom now. She had responsibilities. She couldn’t just take herself off the to the playroom. What if Lily needed her?

  She couldn’t fail her again.

  And yet, would her men put up with this for much longer?

  God. She just didn’t know what to do.

  “Roarke? Lily’s in bed. I’ve got a headache so I think I’ll go to bed early. There’s some dinner ready for you when you want to eat.”

  Roarke looked up from his computer with a frown of concern as he stared over at Ava. She did look pale and tired. Worry stirred in his gut.

  Sam thought she wasn’t happy. That she was hiding something from them. He wanted Roarke to make her talk. Her pregnancy had been tough on her. Then Lily’s birth and those first few months when none of them had had any idea of what they were doing. And then Lily had grown ill. They were all still recovering from that.

  As he looked into her tired, strained face, he knew Sam was right. A change was needed. He firmed his resolve. Sometimes time worked against them and he could see he’d given her too much. “Have you taken something for the headache?”

  She nodded, wincing slightly.

  He crooked his finger at her. “Come here.”

  She gave him a startled look.

  “Now, Ava,” he firmed his voice. Her eyes widened. Had it been so long since he’d used that voice on her?

  He guessed it had been. This distance between them was his fault. And it needed to be fixed. She reached the desk and stopped.

  “You don’t want me to have to come and get you, little one,” he told her in a low voice.

  “Roarke? What are you wanting?”

  “I want my wife and sub to get her butt over here and she’s got until the count of three before I come get her. And if I have to do that she won’t be sitting comfortably for quite a while.”

  She still looked like a deer caught in headlights, but she was standing next to his chair in less than three seconds. He spun the chair and caught her around the waist, tumbling her onto his lap.

  “Eek! Roarke.” She clasped hold of his shoulder with her free hand. He plucked the monitor she was carrying out of her hand and placed it on his desk. “What’s gotten into you?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Something has to have gotten into me in order for me to want to cuddle my wife?”

  “No, of course not. It’s just you haven’t…”

  “What?”

  She looked away, over his shoulder. Distancing herself. Fuck. He hated when she did that. And she had been doing it more and more often.

  “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I really am tired.”

  He ran a finger down her cheek and under her chin, tilting her face up. “Tomorrow, I want you to rest. Sam and I can look after Lily.”

  A hint of panic filled her face before it was gone. “No, I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep.”

  He narrowed his gaze, staring down at her. “Who is in charge in this relationship?”

  Her mouth dropped open and he nudged it closed with his finger.

  “Y-you are, but—”

  “No buts. I’m the Dom.”

  “But this isn’t about sex.”

  “And our relationship isn’t based on just sex, is it?” If it was, they were in trouble since it had been too long since they’d made love. His cock stirred. Yeah, it was time for things to change.

  “You’re tired. You need rest and I’m going to see that you get it.”

  “What’s got into you tonight? You’re acting different.”

  Actually, he thought he was acting exactly the way he should be. This felt like the old him. The real him.

  “I’ve let you down, Ava.”

  “What? No, you haven’t.”

  She tried to get off his lap and he tightened his hold. “You do not have permission to move.”

  Her breathing quickened and he was certain he saw a hint of need on her face. Seems like he wasn’t the only one missing this aspect of their relationship.

  “I need permission to move?”

  He nodded. “You do. And you do not have it. So, I suggest you sit still and listen to me.”

  She didn’t say anything but she stopped trying to fight his hold.

  “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  She looked away. “Sure.”

  That didn’t sound too certain to him.

  “Ava, what’s going on with you?”

  “I’m okay, Roarke.”

  “No, you’re not. We’re not.”

  She stiffened and then turned to him, tears in her green eyes. “You don’t want to be with me anymore?”

  He cupped her face between his hands, horrified she could ever think that. “What? No. Never. I never want to be without you. I love you, Ava. You are my everything. Wife, sub, mother of my daughter. Everything. So, don’t you dare ever think that I would want to be without you. Something inside me would die. Do you understand me? Without you, I wouldn’t be whole.”

  “Then what did you mean?”

  “Are you happy, Ava?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?” He gave her a questioning look. “Truly happy? You don’t feel like something is missing?”

  Her eyes darted away.

  “Look at me,” he commanded. “Do you miss this? Me taking charge? Dominating you? Do you miss that part of our life?”

  “Things are different now,” she whispered.

  “They are. But do you like the way things are now?”

  She licked her lips. “Do you?”

  “I love our little family. The four of us. I want you to be happy, though.”

  “I want the same.”

  “We haven’t played in a long time.”

  “No.” Her voice was soft. Almost hesitant.

  “Do you not want me as your Dominant anymore?” His heart nearly stopped waiting for her answer.

  She gaped up at him. “What? No. I mean, yes. I mean…do you want that?”

  “Do I want to dominate you?”

  “Yes. You haven’t…with Sam or me…I just…wasn’t sure.” She let out a deep breath. “Things are different now that we’re parents. I wasn’t sure if you wanted that anymore.”

  He wrapped his hand in her hair, then tugged it back sharply. She stared up at him, her breath coming in sharp pants. “I want it more than I want to breathe. I want you. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life. I will always want you.”

  “Even after having a baby?”

  Jesus. It was a punch to the gut to see how insecure she felt. She should never feel like that. Especially not due to his actions. Or inactions.

  “That could never change the way I feel about you, except to make me love you more.”

  She blinked. “Really?”

  “Damn it, really. Ava, why didn’t you come to me if you were feeling this insecure? Or Sam.” Sam was her confidant. If they’d both been keeping this from him then there was going to be hell to pay.

  There was movement at the doorway and he looked up as Sam walked into the study, clearing his throat. His eyes widened in shock and he heard Ava gasp. He let go of her hair so she could sit up.

  Sam stood in front of them dressed in a pair of black leather chaps. The front was laced tight over his impressive crotch. A cowboy hat rested on his head.

  And that was all he wore. All those abs, his muscular chest and smooth skin was on show. What the hell was he up to?

  “I’m going out to the club. I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.”

  He was what? Going to the club? Without Roarke? What the
fuck?

  Sam turned and Ava gasped at the sight of his bare, white buttocks.

  By God, they wouldn’t be white for much longer.

  Roarke set Ava off his lap carefully. He strode to the door just in time to see Sam drawing a long coat out of the coat closet in the foyer. They’d bought this house before Lily was born. Before then they’d all been living in the upper levels of Club Decadence. But a BDSM club was no place to raise a family.

  “Well, at least you’re dressing for the weather,” Roarke said as he leaned against the wall.

  “Sam, what are you doing?” Ava asked, coming up beside him as Sam pulled the coat on.

  He gave them both a sunny smile. It looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. But Roarke knew better.

  Many people didn’t think Sam had deep emotions. He did. He just didn’t let much get to him.

  Something was obviously bothering him very much right now.

  “I told you, I’m heading out to the club.”

  “What for?” Ava asked in a quiet voice.

  Roarke drew her close, tucking her in against his side. He’d decided that his first instinct, which had been to order Sam to get back into his study and bend over his desk so Roarke could wear a ruler out on his ass, possibly wasn’t the best idea.

  Sure, it might be what both he and Sam needed. But it wasn’t going to get to the heart of things. So, he stayed quiet and let Ava do the questioning. For the moment.

  “I thought that would be obvious, honey,” Sam drawled. “I’m going to go find someone to play with.”

  Ava drew in a sharp breath. “But you can’t do that.”

  Sam’s smile tightened and Roarke saw the pain flash in his eyes. Roarke’s gut tightened. He knew Sam was bluffing. He’d obviously decided he was tired of the way things were, and this was his attempt to get Roarke’s attention.