Sinclair (Bad Boys of WildeSide Book 2) Page 9

  “Of course she didn’t say anything to upset me. If anything, I upset her. It’s not every night you’re woken by someone screaming like a banshee.”

  “You had another nightmare.” I hadn’t been informed of that. I made a mental note to talk to Caden and Carrington about better communication. What else hadn’t they told me?

  “I haven’t had any in a while. It was kind of weird to get one when someone else was here.”

  “Have you spoken to your therapist about them?”

  “Yes.” That was all she said. I could see the gates closing over her face. There’d be no more talking about those nightmares, much as I wanted to know every detail. “I’ve been thinking.”

  “The most dreaded words a man can hear.” I tried to joke.

  “Really?” She smiled. “I thought those words were, “oh, it’s so little.”

  I laughed, hardly believing she’d said that. “I never have that problem.”

  She blushed and looked away shyly. I cursed myself. Go slowly. Don’t scare her off.

  “Anyway, I’ve been thinking I should move out.”

  What? I froze. That had been completely unexpected.

  “What do you mean, move out?” I asked.

  “I’m really grateful that you’ve let me live here. But I can’t live here forever and sponge off you. I need to find a job. A place of my own. I can’t move right away, but I’ve already started looking at jobs. Maybe I can put my degree to some use. This is a good thing.”

  No, no it wasn’t a good thing. I tried to think of something to say. Some way to convince her to stay.

  “I don’t want you to go.” A reason. Give her a convincing reason.

  “Why not? I mean, once I’m gone you can rent this place out. Make some money instead of spending it all on me.”

  “Spend it all on you? Honey, I wish you’d let me spend just a little money on you. You haven’t spent a cent out of the money I put aside for you.”

  A stubborn look crossed her face. “I don’t want to be a burden anymore.”

  “You’re not a fucking burden.”

  Her eyes widened. “You swore. I think I’ve only ever heard you swear once before.”

  “You are not a burden. You are everything.” I reached over and pulled her to me. Slowly. Slowly.

  Ah, screw it.

  I drew her onto my lap and took her mouth with mine, kissing her deeply. She lay stiffly in my arms, and alarm bells went off in my head. I’d scared her. I’d moved too fast. I loosened my hold just as she melted in my arms. Her tongue slid against my lips, and I opened my mouth, tasting her, teasing her.

  Her movements were uncertain, a little clumsy, but she soon gained momentum, pulling me closer. I forced myself to pull back, knowing it wouldn’t take much to push me into taking this faster than I should. I needed a clear head right now.

  “Wow, and I thought you saw me as a sister.”

  “What?” I straightened. “What made you think that?”

  She shrugged, running her fingers over my chest. I wished I could feel her skin against mine. The urge was so deep and strong I had to take slow, deep breaths to hold myself in check.

  “Because you haven’t touched me or made any moves.”

  “I told you how I felt about you.”

  “Yes, but . . .”

  “But what?”

  “I’m a different person from the one you knew before. I thought you might have realized I’m not what you want. I’m not the girl you introduced to your mother.”

  “What has that got to do with anything?” I asked, confused.

  “Your mom hoped you’d find a good girl who would settle you. Who would support you and understand you couldn’t talk about everything you did. Someone sweet and lovely. I’m not sure anyone could call me sweet.”

  “You’re a kind, generous, and lovely person. Nothing that has happened has changed that.”

  “I still don’t think she’d see me as good enough for you.”

  “Luckily, I don’t let my mother vet my girlfriends for me,” I said with some exasperation. I tapped her nose, gently scolding.

  “Had a lot, have you?” she teased.

  I rolled my eyes. “Like I’m going to answer that. Darcy, believe it or not, I don’t really do things out of the goodness of my heart. I brought you here because I had an ulterior motive. I want to keep you close to me. Not just to look after you, but because I damn well want you.”

  “Two swear words in one night. Who are you?”

  I loved that she could still tease and smile. For a while there I’d worried she wouldn’t ever smile again.

  “I want you, Darcy. And not just a fling, either. I want you to be mine. I know it might be too early to say that. You need time to heal. But I’m going to be here, waiting. And I want you to stay here so I can make certain you don’t realize I’m not good enough for you and find someone much more deserving of your love.”

  She took a sharp breath. “But do you love me?”

  God, she amused me sometimes. “You tell me. I can’t stop thinking about you. Why do I keep imagining us getting married, having babies, and growing old and cranky together? Why do I get frantic at the idea of losing you? These last few months have been hell. I just got you back; I’m not letting you go. I’ll give you time and space, but I’m not giving you up. Not again.”

  She blinked, her blue eyes awash with tears. “Really?”

  “Really. I love you, Darcy.”

  “Will you stay tonight, then? With me.”

  I studied her closely. “Just to sleep?” I could do that. It would take a lot of control, but I’d lie there all night holding her if that’s what she needed.

  “No. Not just to sleep.”

  Jesus, she didn’t want to know how those words sent all the blood in my body rushing to my cock. It pressed against my pants uncomfortably, and I had to work hard not to press up against her warmth.

  “Are you certain you’re ready for that? Because I can wait.”

  “Maybe you can, but I can’t. I want you, Sinclair. Please.”

  “Christ, you don’t know how I’ve longed to hear those words.” I kissed her again, pouring everything I had into the kiss: all the need and desire that had burned inside me for so long. As I kissed down her neck, my phone rang, jarring me from the haze of arousal that had infiltrated my brain.

  “Shouldn’t you answer that?” she asked.

  Yes. But I didn’t want to stop. Christ. I reached over to where I’d put my phone on the small table beside the chair. “What?” I barked. Whoever it was had terrible timing.

  “Boss, you’ve got a meeting in forty,” Tank replied. “You told me to remind you.”

  I did. And it was a meeting I couldn’t miss. But if there was ever a time when I wanted to ignore all my obligations and hide away, it was now.

  “I’ll be down in five.”

  I stared down at Darcy. Disappointment filled her face, then she sighed and stood. I wanted to grasp hold of her and pull her back.

  “You have to go.”

  “I’m sorry. You have no idea how I wish I didn’t have to.”

  “I get it; you have business.” There was a curious note in her voice.

  “I can’t talk about it.”

  “Can’t or won’t?” she asked.

  “Both,” I admitted. “My job is to protect you. And keeping certain parts of my life shut off from you is how I achieve that.”

  She frowned slightly. “I guess I can understand that.”

  Relief unfurled in my stomach. I hadn’t been sure how she’d take my need to keep some things from her. I stood and cupped her face between my hands. “I’d much rather be with you, but I have people relying on me.”

  “All right. You better go.”

  “I’ll be back in two hours. I’ll bring dinner.”

  “Is it dangerous?” she asked as she walked me out.

  “This meeting? No.”

  “But your life is, isn’t it?”
/>
  I drew her close. “I’m as safe as I can make myself. I won’t lie and tell you that there is no threat. But, baby, I could have a regular job and be shot waiting in line at the post office. Life is a risk. I’m just better prepared to meet that risk than most people. I promise I’m coming back to you.”

  “You better. I didn’t wait this long just for someone to take you away from me.”

  Chapter Ten

  Darcy

  It was weird just sitting around, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for Sinclair to come back. I showered and shaved my legs and pussy. It was the first time I’d ever shaved myself completely bare, and it felt strange as I moved around. Hopefully, Sinclair would like it. I blushed at the thought. I was going to have sex with Sinclair. I prayed I didn’t make a fool of myself. I didn’t exactly have much experience.

  I couldn’t believe he loved me. Me. What did he even see in me? I wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t beautiful either. Scraggly blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. I studied myself in the mirror. I still hadn’t regained all the weight I’d lost, but at least I wasn’t all bone anymore.

  Nerves bit at me even as my body hummed with anticipation. I checked the clock again. He’d only been gone an hour. Maybe I should have pressed him for more information about where he was going, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me. Once, that would have annoyed the shit out of me. The curiosity would have killed me.

  Now, I was pretty certain I didn’t want to know. I knew who Sinclair was and what he did. I was going into this with my eyes wide open. That meant I had to accept him, warts and all. I had no doubt I’d be frustrated at times, and the secretiveness was bound to piss me off. But it wasn’t like I didn’t have my own issues.

  I’m not sure the old Darcy could have lived with knowing he was a criminal. She’d been attracted to him, interested in him, but long-term it probably never would have worked.

  But I wasn’t that girl anymore. People weren’t just all good and all bad. Sinclair wasn’t. I wasn’t. But that was okay. Because I loved him and he loved me.

  Sinclair

  I walked off the elevator onto the floor I’d set aside for Darcy. Getting off at this level required a passcode only a few had access to. Even though I was tired, anticipation was building inside me. I’d been gone longer than expected. I just hoped Darcy wasn’t too annoyed at being kept waiting.

  I moved past her door and went to the apartment where I’d set Caden and Carrington up. I ran the card I held against the pad, and the door clicked open.

  “Hey, boss,” Caden said, moving out from the kitchen to greet me.

  Caden and Carrington weren’t part of the family. They were my own private employees. Brother and sister. I’d met them years ago when I’d raided a rival’s drug house. Carrington had been kept locked in a small room and drugged to the gills. The gang leader had been using her to keep Caden in line. I didn’t know the extent of the things he’d been made to do. He never spoke about it, neither of them did.

  I’d given them a choice. They could come work for me, or I’d give them money, and they could leave town. I didn’t bring them into the family because I knew Caden would be challenged for rank. He was big and powerful. After his experience, that wasn’t what he needed.

  They’d agreed to work for me, and I’d never regretted it. Well, not much. Carrington could be a handful. I’d never actually expected Carrington to work for me. But she’d had hidden talents that were very useful.

  I nodded at Caden and moved into the living room. Their apartment was pretty much a carbon copy of the one I’d set Darcy up in. Except for the wall of computers filling the living room. Sitting crouched in front of her laptop, Carrington just waved her hand at me. “Boss man. How’s it hanging?”

  I sighed. “It’s hanging fine.”

  She turned. “Ooh, I’d bet it’s not hanging at all given that heavy petting we saw earlier. I’m surprised you took so long to return.”

  “Carrington,” Caden scolded quietly. They were almost exact opposites. Caden was well over six foot five, arms and legs thick with muscle. Quiet and contemplative, he was the type of man I liked to have on my side. Calm and methodical, he knew how to get the job done.

  Carrington, on the other hand, was a pain in the ass. Rash, mouthy, and tiny. If she didn’t spend most of her time in front of a computer screen, I’d fear for her safety in the outside world. Because she was bound to piss someone off within minutes of meeting them.

  “You gonna do right by her? Because a nice girl like her doesn’t deserve to be strung along.”

  “Carrington,” Caden grumbled again. I waved him off.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but Darcy means everything to me. I intend to marry her.”

  “Good. That’s supposing she’ll have you. You might be rich, but you come with a lot of baggage. Ain’t every woman that’ll want to take that on.”

  I took a deep breath to ease my irritation. The only reason she got to me was because her words held a kernel of truth. I was worried Darcy couldn’t accept what I did. There were times I would get a call and have to leave without telling her where I’d been. There would be many nights where I’d come home late, or some nights not at all, and not have an explanation to give her.

  “I thought I told you to turn the cameras off when I’m here.”

  Carrington shrugged. “Forgot.”

  I ground my teeth together. There were times when I wondered why I still employed her.

  “She likes her,” Caden told him quietly, nodding at Carrington. “Feels protective of her.”

  And I suppose I couldn’t scold her for that. I wanted her to care about Darcy, protect her. But not from me.

  “I’m not planning on hurting her,” I told Carrington.

  Her wary gaze disappeared, and that cocky look I was used to returned. “You know she’s going to be seriously pissed off when she discovers we’ve been watching her.”

  I didn’t ever intend for her to find out.

  “You’ve really gone all Raymond Reddington on her ass.”

  I sighed. Sometimes talking to Carrington was an extreme test of patience.

  “You wanted to see me? Have you found him?” Carrington was a skilled hacker. Exceptional. Once I’d discovered that I’d given her whatever she needed. A few days after I returned to Boston with Darcy, I set Carrington on Nick’s trail. Unfortunately, I hadn’t given him enough credit. He’d hightailed it out of the country. Carrington had tracked him to Mexico but was having trouble pinning him down.

  “Slimy bastard keeps moving around, but my facial recognition search found him at an ATM.” She brought up a photo. It was black and white and a bit blurry, but there was no mistaking Nick’s features.

  “Where? I didn’t know Mexico had cameras with their ATMs.”

  “They don’t,” she told me with a grin. “He’s in Texas. Asshole probably thinks it’s safe to return since there’s no warrant for his arrest.”

  “How long ago was this taken? Where is he?”

  “Twenty minutes ago in Houston.”

  “Good.” Satisfaction filled me. Got you, asshole. “I’ll have him picked up. Good job.”

  “Aw, shucks, boss man. Thank you, sir. Did I earn my dinner tonight, then? Can I have a second bowl of gruel?”

  Caden placed his hand over his sister’s mouth, giving me an apologetic look.

  I glared at her then turned to him. “Make sure she turns the cameras off. Now.”

  “Will do, boss,” he replied.

  Carrington managed to wiggle free. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  I groaned silently. Why me?

  Darcy

  The sound of the door opening made me jump, even though I was fairly certain who it was. I stood, waiting anxiously. Sinclair walked in and paused.

  “Are you all right? Has something happened?” He moved towards me but didn’t reach out to touch me.

  “No. I mean, nothing happened. I guess,” I laughed a little shrill
y, “I guess I’m just a bit nervous.”

  He took my hands in his then drew me closer. Reaching down, he kissed me gently. “Nothing needs to happen tonight. We can take this as slowly as you need to.”

  “Sometimes you seem too good to be true,” I told him.

  His face grew serious. “No, I’m really not.”

  “I don’t want to wait. I want you, Sinclair,” I told him boldly. I ran my hands up his chest, hoping the way they shook wasn’t too obvious. “Let’s go to bed.”

  “Dinner?”

  I shook my head. Eat right now? Was he nuts? I’d give myself a serious case of indigestion. He smiled. A wickedly heated smile that had music humming through my body, with a fast, heavy beat that couldn’t be ignored, even if I’d wanted to. I didn’t.

  He drew back then took my hand in his and led me to the bedroom.

  “Did you tidy up?” he asked, with a quirk of his lips.

  What? Oh, he’d seen my bedroom at my parent’s place. “I’m not as messy as I was back then. Cluttered house, cluttered mind. At least that’s what Imogen says.”

  “Do me a favor,” he said in a low growl. God, I loved his voice. He could be reciting the chemical elements, and I wouldn’t care, as long as I got to listen to that thick as molasses sound.

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t you want to know what it is first?” He moved towards the bed, and I stilled, my nerves suddenly threatening to overwhelm my arousal.

  “What is it?”

  “Don’t mention Imogen’s name in our bedroom. Ever.”

  I grinned a little. “Not doing anything for your libido?”

  He drew me against him. “My libido is fine. But just to be safe, the dragon’s name stays out of here. The only name I want to hear from your lips is mine.”

  “Use that line a lot?” I quipped. Sometimes I talked a lot when I was nervous.

  “Never.” He pressed one finger against my lips before taking my mouth with his. I reached up on my tiptoes, nearly falling into him in my need to be closer, to feel him pressing against me.