Sinclair (Bad Boys of WildeSide Book 2) Page 7

  He ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up on end. For once he looked disheveled, his shirt not tucked in properly, the top buttons undone. I was used to him always being so in control, but right now he looked wild, fierce.

  “Why did you stop giving Nick money? Did you decide enough was enough?” It would have been fair enough if he had. I wish he’d never offered Nick money in the first place, then he might not have bothered with the farce of pretending he wanted a little family. But stopping that money had set things in motion.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  What did that mean?

  “I was shot. My cousin attempted to kill me to take over the family business.”

  “Um, okay.” I literally didn’t know what to say to that. “You know that sounds like an episode of The Sopranos right?”

  He smiled tightly. “I guess it does. Theo got to him before he could finish me off. But he’d shot me in the head. There was a lot of swelling, and the doctors put me in an induced coma. I had set my cousin the task of watching over you. He would report back to me that Nick was taking care of you and then I would have someone deposit cash in his account. If anything ever happened, I didn’t want a trail leading back to you. I never thought about something happening to me. Or that my cousin might betray me. I should have kept an eye on you myself.”

  Regret filled his face. “That bastard lied to me. He told me you were still living at your parents when you must have already moved. He’s also the one who looked into Nick. I trusted him.”

  I had the urge to reach over and touch him, ease some of the betrayal and pain I heard in his voice, but I held back.

  “By the time I came out of the coma, no one knew where you were. Not even Cassie.”

  I grimaced. “She’s never going to let me forget that.”

  “I should have done a better job of looking after you. I’ve been searching for you ever since. Mace finally found Nick. I decided to fly in to have a chat with him.”

  I wondered what a chat involved.

  “That’s some interesting timing.” I closed my eyes briefly. I was so tired.

  “Come on, baby. Let’s go home.”

  Sinclair

  I watched Darcy worriedly. She was curled into the leather seat across from me as we flew from Chicago to Boston. She’d barely spoken since we’d taken off. Her passiveness worried me. She needed to talk to someone. I had no idea how to get her to completely open up. She’d talked about some of what she was feeling, but I knew the rest was under the surface. No doubt she was still suffering some degree of shock. That would wear off, and when it did, I needed to be there for her.

  As we neared Boston, I reorganized my next few days. Pushed what I could onto others. I had to free up as much time as possible. The plane came in to land, and I put my laptop away. She sat up straight and yawned.

  “Once we get home, you can sleep.”

  She nodded. “Home, huh?”

  Yes, home. Where I could watch over her, protect her. Where I could make everything right again.

  Chapter Seven

  Darcy

  I’d slipped back into that sterile, emotionless void. Not feeling was an amazing thing. I didn’t stress. I didn’t worry. I wanted to stay there forever.

  But he kept prodding at me. He wouldn’t let me be. Darcy, eat this. Darcy, talk to me. Darcy, you have to get up. If he would just leave me alone then perhaps I could slip away. I was so tired. Didn’t he understand that? It was too difficult to get up. To shower and dress. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to eat. Why would I eat? It was so much effort, and it would just sit in my stomach like a lead balloon.

  I’d failed my baby. I hadn’t protected her or kept her safe. I hadn’t killed the person who’d murdered her.

  I just wanted to lie here on the bed. Not dream. Not move. Not think.

  Just lie here.

  Right here.

  Forever.

  Sinclair

  Frantic with worry, I paced back and forth across the living room in my downtown apartment. I’d thought I could fix her, help her. That somehow I could make everything right.

  Instead, she appeared to be drifting away right before my eyes. Worry over her consumed me. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but her. I had things that needed my attention. I was the boss; I couldn’t just take a break. And yet how could I leave her like this? I worried if I left for too long she’d disappear on me. If something didn’t change soon, not only was I going to lose her, but I was going to lose my hold on the family as well.

  And that could be a very dangerous thing for Boston, because those nipping at my heels were ambitious, and they didn’t abide by any laws other than those I laid down. People might see me as scum of the earth and in a lot of ways I was. What they didn’t realize was I at least had some lines I wouldn’t cross. I didn’t allow drugs to be pushed around schools. Violence towards women and children wasn’t tolerated, and if anyone I knew abused a woman then they’d better run because they weren’t welcome in my town.

  I could deal with uprisings, with supply issues, with challenges from other gangs.

  But I couldn’t seem to fix the most important person in my life, and I was terrified I was going to lose her altogether.

  “Maybe you need to get her a grief counselor.”

  I looked over at Wilde, who sat back in one of the armchairs in the living area of my apartment, his whiskey untouched in his hand. Even he frowned with worry. Cassie was in the bedroom with Darcy right now. I hoped she might reach her in a way I couldn’t. It frustrated me I couldn’t do anything. That I had to rely on someone else when I wanted to be the one to fix all this.

  After five days with little response from Darcy, I knew I needed help. Cassie was the first step.

  What came next, I wasn’t sure.

  “She wasn’t like this before.” Before I’d swooped in and tried to rescue her. “She was functioning. Talking. She wasn’t like this.”

  “Maybe thoughts of revenge kept her going.”

  “And I forced her to let go. She must resent me.” I couldn’t blame her. I’d made a mess of everything. “I can’t seem to help her. Nothing I say or do makes a difference.” And it was killing me to watch her slip away.

  “Perhaps Cassie will get through to her,” Wilde said, finally taking a sip from his drink. “They’re close.”

  I wanted to be the one to get through to her, but that was my selfishness speaking. I had to think of what was best for Darcy, and if that meant letting others help, then I would make it happen.

  “There’s only one way I can think to help,” I said, refilling my glass. I stared out at the city of Boston. I had floor to ceiling windows in my penthouse apartment to take in the views, but I rarely just stopped and looked. I never seemed to have the time. I used this place to shower and sleep. Occasionally I brought someone back to fuck. That’s all they’d ever been; a means to an end. I’d treated them well, of course. I was a gentleman after all.

  I smiled dryly. A mafia boss gentleman. Maybe I should get cards printed.

  “I don’t think I’m gonna like what you suggest,” Wilde said, sitting forward in his chair and resting his arms on his legs.

  I shrugged. Didn’t matter what he thought. He was a friend, or as much of a friend as I could have outside the family, but no matter what he thought, I’d go my own way.

  “I’m going to find Nick for her.”

  “And once you do?”

  I turned to Wilde. “I’ll let her kill him.”

  Darcy

  On some level I knew Cassie had been here; the scent of her perfume still lingered in the air. But I couldn’t seem to stir myself enough to respond.

  Raised voices reached me. I frowned a little. If I ignored them, then they would go away. But they didn’t. They grew louder. They infiltrated my head, causing it to thump with the tempo of their voices.

  Why wouldn’t they shut up?

  With a sigh, I forced myself to sit. My body
trembled even from that little exertion. The door seemed a long way away. Too far. I should just sit here. They’ll stop.

  The sound of smashing glass jolted me. My heart sped, sweat coated my palms.

  He was back. He was here.

  Nick.

  My world narrowed until all I could hear was my heart beating. He was coming for me. He was going to kill me. My baby. I had to protect my baby.

  Hide. Hide. Hide.

  Don’t let him kill my baby.

  Sinclair

  “Darcy? Darcy?” I looked frantically around the room. We’d all heard her scream, even over the argument I’d been having with Cassie and Wilde. But by the time I’d reached her room, she’d disappeared.

  “She has to be here somewhere,” I said, moving to the attached bathroom. “There’s no way for her to get out of the apartment without the code for the elevator.”

  “She’s not under the bed,” Cassie said, standing.

  “Or in the closet,” Wilde added.

  “Then where is she? She couldn’t have left,” I repeated. I ran my hand through my hair.

  “What happened? Do you think she heard us arguing?” Cassie asked worriedly.

  I cursed myself. What had we been thinking? I’d been arguing with Cassie, who’d wanted Darcy to move in with her and Wilde. Cassie had swung her arm out, accidentally knocking over a glass vase which smashed onto the floor. The scream of terror that followed had us all freezing.

  We had no business arguing like that with someone who’d been through such a traumatic experience in the next room. She had to have been terrified.

  I looked under the bed myself then pulled everything out of the closet with frantic movement. Clothes and shoes littered the ground until it looked as though a tornado had struck, leaving destruction in its path.

  “We shouldn’t have raised our voices,” Cassie said, her regret easily readable. “I was just upset. I know you tried to warn us, but I never thought she’d be this bad.”

  We’d been arguing because Cassie wanted to take her with them. Away from me. No. Not happening.

  Except, look at how well I was caring for her. She was missing, and I had no idea where she was.

  “We can talk about regrets and argue later,” Wilde told us gruffly. “Right now we need to damn well find her.”

  Okay. I took a deep breath. What would I do if I were Darcy? If I was scared and alone? I moved around the bedroom. Maybe she’d slipped out into the hallway and into my bedroom.

  “Let’s search the apartment. Wilde, you check the kitchen and living room. Cassie, wait here. I’ll check my rooms.” I moved into my bedroom, checking the usual places. I paused for a moment, trying to think.

  “Baby, where’d you go?” I whispered. I didn’t have the first clue how to think like her because I’d never been in her situation. Scared, alone, and fragile.

  Maybe that was the problem. I was still thinking like me. I was well over six foot with a large frame. I might hide in closets and under beds, but someone small like Darcy . . . I spun around, taking everything in. Then I pulled open the bathroom cabinet. Empty.

  “Check the kitchen cabinets,” I yelled at Wilde as I raced back into her bedroom, past Cassie. I yanked open the bathroom cabinet. Blue eyes blinked up from a pale, terrified face.

  “Don’t hurt my baby. Don’t hurt my baby.” Her eyes were unfocussed as she gazed at something over my shoulder.

  I heard Cassie take a sharp breath behind me as I knelt and reached out to touch her trembling body. She shied back, her head hitting against the top of the cabinet. I didn’t keep anything in the cabinet in this bathroom, and the shelves were movable so she’d just shoved them to the back and crammed herself in.

  “Nobody’s going to hurt you. Or your baby,” I assured her. “I’ll make certain of that.” And I knew then that I included myself in that statement. I’d wanted to keep her close because I thought I could help her. But the help she needed went beyond what I could give. To help her, I needed to let her go.

  Chapter Eight

  Darcy

  “Yes. I’ll talk to her. I don’t know Sinclair….yes…okay. Bye.”

  I stood frozen in the doorway, listening to Cassie sigh as she placed her phone down. Why was she talking to Sinclair? My stomach tightened. Were they talking about me?

  Sinclair was friends with Wilde. They were probably discussing something else entirely.

  The world doesn’t revolve around me.

  Except Wilde was in L.A. at the moment. So why would Sinclair be calling here? And why the hell did I care? He’d abandoned me. Left me to Cassie to deal with. Like a problem child who’d been passed on to someone else to fix.

  It wasn’t fair of me, I knew. I’d been a mess. I’d had a small breakdown. I’d needed intense therapy. Cassie had moved me in with her. She’d hired a therapist who’d lived with us for a short time. She’d been there for me. And I would never be able to repay her.

  “Cassie?” I walked forward into the kitchen where Cassie stood, looking out the window.

  She swung around, a large smile on her face. “Ready to go?”

  “Who were you talking to?” I told her.

  She opened her mouth then shut it with a frown. “Sinclair.”

  “Oh, what did he want?” I tried for casual but wasn’t sure I really managed it when she raised her eyebrows.

  “He wants to see you. Insists on seeing you, to be more precise.”

  I hated that happiness danced a jig through my belly. “Why does he want to see me? And why now? It’s been two months.”

  “Actually, this isn’t the first time he’s asked to see you. Only now, he’s getting very insistent.”

  “It isn’t? You never told me that.”

  She looked at me guiltily.

  “Cassie, what aren’t you telling me?”

  She sighed. “Sinclair never really wanted you to move in with me. He only agreed after you…well…”

  “Had a breakdown?”

  “Yeah. And then he wanted to visit every day. And he did for the first week.”

  “I don’t remember that.”

  “Oh, you don’t? I guess you were pretty out of it. Imogen thought his visits were upsetting you, although I never saw you react any differently. If anything, you seemed calmer. But she’s the expert. So when she told him to stay away, he did it. Very reluctantly. He’s called every day to check on you, though.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She winced, and I realized I was yelling.

  “Imogen wanted you to focus on your recovery. Nothing else.”

  I guess that made sense, but I still wished I had known.

  “Now, he thinks he’s waited long enough. He’s worried you might think he’s abandoned you.”

  He was right. I had thought that. And I was a little pissed everyone had thought they knew what was best for me. But I couldn’t get mad at Cassie, not after everything she’d done.

  “Are you mad at me, Darcy?” Cassie asked. “Wilde told me to tell you, but I wanted to do what Imogen said. I wanted you to get better. I was so scared. I thought I might lose you.”

  I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her, feeling her tremble. Cassie had done so much for me, including spending a lot of time apart from her husband. I could never be mad at her.

  “Have I told you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. You’re the best friend a girl could ever hope to have.”

  “Right back at ya.” Cassie leaned back and wiped at her eyes.

  “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Cassie. More than I can ever say. But I’m much better now. I can get myself to therapy. I’ll be okay. Wilde needs you.” He split his time between here and L.A., but I knew he’d rather have Cassie with him all the time.

  Cassie frowned. “I’m not leaving you.”

  “Cassie, I’m a grown woman. You can’t expect me to live here with you forever. I’ll find an apartment, a job.”

/>   “But your therapy,” she protested.

  “My one-on-one sessions finish soon. I’ll have group therapy, but that’s in the evening. I can do this.”

  I hoped. Part of me wasn’t so sure. But I had to do this. Cassie had put her life on hold for long enough.

  “You’ve done so much for me, Cass. You’ve been there for me when everyone else left. I can’t ever repay that.”

  She stepped back, looking at me worriedly. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure. And don’t feel guilty over Sinclair. He didn’t have to listen to any of you all.” He knew where I was, he could have visited at any time.

  “He didn’t have a lot of choice. Wilde threatened to take you to L.A. if he tried to interfere.”

  I widened my eyes. “Wilde threatened Sinclair.”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “They haven’t talked since.”

  Jesus.

  I rubbed my forehead. I didn’t know what to think right now. “We need to go. We’ll be late for my therapy session.”

  “Darcy—”

  I just shook my head. “We need to get going. Please.”

  ***

  “How are you today, Darcy?”

  I looked over at Imogen, who sat across the desk from me. Like her office, everything about her was neat and serene. There was no denying that she’d helped me. But now that I knew she’d kept Sinclair from me, I was seeing her in a different light.

  She’d drawn me out of the numbness I’d embraced and into the world of emotions once more, and I’d hated her for that in the beginning.

  I’d been so angry. I hadn’t wanted to feel again. What was the point of making me feel when I’d been happy where I was? I’d gone through so many emotions, fury, sadness, grief, it had been a wild roller coaster ride. One I would gladly have jumped from.

  But Imogen and the other staff at the Trent Center had always been there to catch me. As had Cassie. They’d ridden the roller coaster with me, bringing me out of the other end. They seemed relatively unscathed, but I felt battered and bruised. And I wasn’t at all certain I was ready to manage the world.