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“Enrique answers to Diego. Enrique scared me to death. So instead of going to him, I went to see Diego, to negotiate the terms of the debt with him.”
Tanner gaped at her. “On your own?”
“Yes.”
“You went to see a cartel lieutenant alone?” Aedan asked incredulously. “Why would you do something so stupid?”
“I thought I could talk him around. I’d met him before. When I was sixteen, my mother took me back for a visit. I snuck out and went to a party with my cousin. Diego was there. At the time he seemed friendly and charming. I knew he wasn’t a good man, but I hoped I could reason with him, work out a payment plan. However, when he told me the terms, I knew I couldn’t meet them. He gave me an alternative solution. He said he would wipe the debt clean if I agreed to move in with him.”
“Is he so ugly that he can’t get a chick the normal way?” Stanton asked.
“Diego doesn’t lack for companionship.” He was a good-looking guy with a dangerous vibe a lot of women found attractive.
“So you whored yourself to him?” Stanton asked.
She winced.
“Do I really need to tell you everything?” she asked Tanner desperately. Aedan had grown very still, his face stony.
“I apologize for my partner’s manner, but we need to figure out Diego’s motivation. No offense, but by the sounds of it, he had his fair share of women, why do you think he waived such a large debt? By all accounts, he’s not the sort of man to help someone out of the goodness of his heart, or for sentimental reasons.”
She blew out a breath. “I don’t know his motivation. I really don’t. He never actually came out and told me I had to sleep with him. He mentioned housework, cooking, but I assumed he also meant I had to…” she trailed off awkwardly, lowering her gaze in shame. “He moved me and Nana into his house. My brother took off. I haven’t heard from him since.” That shouldn’t have surprised her, but the least he could have done was send a text to let her know he was still alive. She’d given up everything for him. Her happiness. Her future. Aedan.
“Diego was around a lot to begin with. But then Nana died and he began staying away for longer stretches of time. I hardly ever saw him.” And it had been a relief. She’d been sick with grief. Partly over losing her nana, but mostly over losing Aedan. She’d stopped eating; she’d lost interest in everything. She hadn’t cared about what Diego had done, so long as he didn’t require anything from her.
“When I found out I was pregnant, it was a complete shock.”
“Weren’t you using protection?” Stanton asked.
“That is something you really don’t need to know,” she snapped back angrily.
“Okay, let’s all just take a deep breath. Natalya, I know this isn’t easy, and I’m truly sorry we have to ask you all these questions.” Tanner gave her an apologetic look.
“You should ban him from talking to people.” Aedan scowled at Stanton.
Stanton didn’t seem the least affected by his censure.
“Once he found out I was pregnant, Diego never touched me again.”
“So Diego took you in lieu of a debt, got you pregnant, fucked around on you, then he just let you leave with his son?” Stanton recited.
“I guess that sums it up.”
Stanton tapped his fingers against his thigh. “Surely the cartel must have been worried about you talking?”
“There is nothing for me to talk about. Diego never told me anything. We cramped his lifestyle, I guess, and he wanted us gone.”
“So why would he come after the boy now?” Stanton looked skeptical.
“I have no idea.”
“And the only reason you believe that it was Diego who took Mateo, is because your cousin thought she saw him by the day care?” Tanner asked, jotting down notes.
“She didn’t think she saw him. She’s definite it was him. Besides, I don’t know who else would take Mateo.”
“Doesn’t make any sense,” Stanton argued. “Why kidnap him now? And your neighbor said there were two masked men, right? Plus one driver, so three men kidnapped him. Who are these other men?”
“I don’t know, members of the cartel, I assume.” She hadn’t really thought about it. “Or someone Diego hired. It’s too much of a coincidence that Diego was hanging around a few days before Mateo was taken. It has to be him.” She stared at Tanner then Stanton. Their faces remained blank. “You act like you don’t believe me,” she said with frustration.
“It’s not that,” Tanner reassured her. “It’s just that we need to explore every possibility. If we spend all our time and resources following one lead and it’s wrong, then we’re back to square one. And right now every moment counts.”
“So shouldn’t we be out there looking for Mateo? Just sitting here doesn’t seem to be accomplishing anything.”
“Every bit of information you can give us is important, Natalya,” Tanner told her.
She ran her hand through her hair. “Sorry, I know.”
“I’m going to head to Hondo.” Stanton stood. “I want to talk to your cousin, the one who saw Diego.”
“Why?” Natalya asked. “She doesn’t know anything else.”
Stanton just shrugged.
“Then I want to go as well. What’s the point of just sitting around here? I should be there in case Mateo is found.”
“Stupid idea,” Stanton told her abruptly. “Small town, lots of gossip. If we all show up there, then it’s just going to create a huge uproar.”
“And you showing up there won’t?” she asked skeptically. He wasn’t exactly discreet.
“He might be a complete asshole, but he can be subtle when he wants to be,” Tanner assured her as Stanton moved away. “And he’s right. Odds are, whoever took Mateo has long left Hondo anyway. The town is too small to effectively hide in.”
Tanner stood. “Best idea right now is to rest. You don’t know when we might have to move. Collapsing with exhaustion won’t help anyone.”
Didn’t he think she knew that? But knowing you ought to sleep and actually managing to sleep were two different things.
“Should we go to the media with this?” Aedan asked Tanner. “I know some people. I could get Mateo’s face out there. Wouldn’t that help us find him?”
“With other missing children cases that probably would help, but we don’t want to tip off whoever took Mateo that Natalya has help. Plus, that would bring in the cops and the FBI, and we need to avoid that. For the moment, let’s keep this low-key, give my people the chance to find what leads they can first.”
Tanner left, leaving her with Aedan, who just stared at her. Feeling uncomfortable, she stood. “I guess I’ll go rest.”
It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she couldn’t take the tension between them any longer.
“I’ll walk up with you.”
Awkward silence accompanied them as they made their way upstairs. At her door, Natalya turned to him.
“Aedan, I know you—”
“In your room. Now.” His expression remained distant—as though they were strangers. Natalya turned away to hide her pain. She opened the bedroom door. It was probably for the best if he just kept away from her.
She gasped as he placed his hand on the small of her back and gently pushed her into the room, following her in and shutting the door behind him.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a dark voice. “Why wouldn’t you ask me for help? I would have done anything to protect you.”
“I know that! But there was nothing you could do.”
His eyes widened. “Why? Because I’m not a vicious criminal?”
“Yes!” she cried out. “You don’t know that world. I didn’t want it touching you.”
Aedan cocked his head to one side as he studied her. He waved his hand around the room. “Have you forgotten whose house we’re in?”
“Rogan isn’t like these men.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve met scum. Rogan isn’t one of them. And you certainly aren’t. I was trying to protect you, Aedan.”
He paced the room. “So now I’m someone who needs protection? You must really think I’m a weak fool.”
“Of course I don’t.” Mierda! No matter what she said, he was taking it the wrong way. Was it so bad that she wanted to protect him?
“You went to another man for help, Natalya. Because you didn’t think I could protect you. You didn’t trust me to look after you.”
“That’s not true! I wanted to keep you safe. I loved you so much, Aedan. I’d have done anything to protect you.”
“You wanted to protect me, but you didn’t think to give me the same courtesy? Do you think that I didn’t feel the same about you? I would have done whatever I needed to in order to ensure your safety.”
“I didn’t think there was anything you could do.”
“I’d have done anything I had to. Anything. Because I loved you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have come to you. I made a mistake.”
“Yes, you did. One that cost us both. What I don’t understand is, why come to me for help now? Why trust me now?”
“Because I have no other choice,” she whispered. She didn’t want to hurt him and yet that seemed to be all she ever did.
“Ahh, so I was a last resort. You have no one else to turn to, am I right?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
He let out a bark of laughter that was anything but humorous. Turning, he stared off into the distance.
“I really am sorry, Aedan,” she told him. “I know it’s too little too late. But I thought you would be better off without me and my problems.”
He turned and stalked toward her, a predatory glint in his eyes. He looked slightly wild, untamed and intimidating.
She backed away from him until her back hit a wall.
“Aedan, what are you doing?” she asked, trying to sound assertive.
“Is that it, Natalya? You wanted a bad boy?” He stared at her hungrily. Her body reacted to his closeness. Her nipples tightened. Her pussy clenched, remembering the feel of him inside her, filling her, taking her.
But there was also a hint of anger in his gaze.
“Was I not nasty enough for you, Natalya? Did you get sick of being with someone who treated you well? Who worshipped the ground you walked on? Did you want someone to treat you like dirt? To fuck you then cheat on you? Is that what you wanted, Natalya?”
“No!” she cried out. “Do you seriously think I wanted him? Do you really think I’m turned on by someone who hurts others?”
He suddenly leaned in towards her, bracing his hands on the wall on either side of her head. Flinching, she jumped back, banging her head on the wall behind her.
Aedan paled. He took some hasty steps back, holding his hands out in front of him. “You’re scared of me? Natalya, I might be furious with you, but I’d never hurt you.”
“I know,” she reassured him, horrified that he thought that. “I’m not afraid of you. You just gave me a fright when you moved suddenly.”
“Did he hurt you? Jesus Christ.” The horror in his gaze was clear to see. “Natalya, did he rape you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “No, he never hit me or raped me.” He’d just been aloof. Distant. Cold. Something she’d actually been grateful for.
“But you slept with him,” he said bitterly.
Natalya held back from snapping back at him. He had every right to be bitter and mad. She’d betrayed him. Left him without an explanation and moved in with another man. If the tables were turned, she’d be murderous.
“I saw photos of you with him. Kissing him.”
“Photos?”
“The man Rogan sent to check on you took them.”
God, those photos must have hurt him. A part of her had died each time she saw him in the tabloids with a different woman on his arm.
“He was different when we were in public. Almost like he was laying a claim, like he wanted everyone to know who I belonged to. It was a total act. When we were alone, he barely touched me. At first I wondered whether he was gay and using me as a smokescreen so the cartel didn’t find out. But then I found out about all the women he had.”
“But wasn’t that his payment for waiving your brother’s debt? That you fuck him?”
She winced at his blunt words. Essentially they were true. She’d gone to live with Diego, expecting he would demand that she have sex with him as payment. Essentially, she’d whored herself out to save her family. The shame had nearly destroyed her. If it hadn’t been for Mateo, she wasn’t sure she would have kept her sanity
“The first week I was there, I tiptoed around him. I was terrified that at any moment he was going to order me to sleep with him. I was miserable. I wanted to run back to you, but I’d made my bed and I had to lie in it. I had dreams of calling you. But Nana couldn’t be moved, and Rio had taken off. I had to keep her safe. She lived far longer than we all thought she would. It was the night of her funeral that I—that we—”
She took a deep breath. “I think I was just lonely and sick of being sad. You were making your movie. I figured you would move on. It’s what I had both hoped for and dreaded.” She sent him a sad smile. “It was the first time he’d really touched me. He hugged me, and well, one thing led to another.”
“You mean you fucked him. Voluntarily.” The disgust in his voice fuelled her temper.
“Just like you fucked all those supermodels and actresses I’d seen you with. You’ve hardly been a monk, Aedan.”
“You left me!” he yelled.
Her anger deflated. This was her fault. Not his. “Yes,” she whispered. “But I can’t change what happened. I only slept with him the once. But you know what they say, once is enough.”
“You got pregnant.”
She nodded.
She saw his fury drain away, leaving him looking exhausted. “When I got your message I thought something terrible had happened. I was all ready to storm down there myself and get you, but Rogan convinced me to send someone to check on you. Christ, if I’d gone myself it might have changed everything. I would have paid the debt, Natalya.”
“You didn’t have that kind of money, not back then. It was before you hit the big time. I knew you’d try to find it and I couldn’t land you in that sort of debt. Plus, I was worried about how you would try to come up with that sort of cash.”
“You thought I’d do something illegal?”
She nodded. “Wouldn’t you?”
“You should have given me the option, Natalya.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing, and you know what I’m like when I think I’m right.”
“Stubborn as hell.”
She grinned wryly.
“You were in the wrong, Natalya. No matter how you thought I would react you should have told me.”
“I know. But you were going places. You were going to become somebody. A famous movie star. I couldn’t drag you down into the gutter with me. Can you tell me that you’d have done any different if the tables had been reversed? Wouldn’t you have protected me, even if it meant losing me?”
Aedan went quiet, just watching her. Then he nodded. “Yeah, I guess I would have. I still don’t agree with what you did. You should have told me. But I will try to put it in the past. Staying mad at you isn’t going to help anyone, least of all Mateo.”
“Really?” she asked hopefully, hardly daring to believe it. “You’ll forgive me?”
“I’ll try.”
That was all she could hope for.
Her arms and legs felt like lead weights, and a wave of dizziness washed over her.
“Whoa, Natalya? Are you okay?”
Aedan grabbed her by the shoulders and held her steady.
“I’m fine. I just need to sit down.”
“You need to sleep,” he countered, sweeping
her up into his arms and carrying her over to the bed. “I’m putting you to bed. You’re going to stay there and sleep.”
“Aedan, I’m no longer your responsibility.”
“You sought me out,” he replied. “I said I would help you.”
“To find Mateo. Nothing else.”
He stared down at her. “Seems that’s already covered by Stanton and his team. They can focus on looking for Mateo. Right now you need my help more.”
“Why help me?” she asked, as he set her down on the bed. “You must hate me.”
“I don’t know.” His looked confused. “I shouldn’t care. I should let you grind yourself into the ground. But I can’t stand to watch you disintegrate in front of my eyes. I’ve been angry at you for so long, and there is a part of me that still is. But I want to try and put that behind me. We need to find some peace between us if we’re going to work together to find your son. And I don’t hate you.”
She blinked back tears. “I wish I had done things differently. And yet if I could go back, I’d do the same thing over.”
“What?”
“I didn’t say that right. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. But the way I ended things between us was wrong. I left you a message because I couldn’t risk breaking down and telling you everything. But there was one good thing to come out of all this, and I wouldn’t wish him out of my life for anything.”
Understanding dawned across his face. “Mateo.”
“Yes. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me, Aedan. He’s smart, and cute, and funny, and I love him so much. I can’t even explain it. If something has happened to him…” she sobbed. “Querido Dios, I feel like I’m losing it.”
The bed dipped as he sat beside her. He placed an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close.
“You’re not losing it. You’ve just pushed your body as far as it can go. Everyone has their limit, Natalya. Even someone as strong as you.”
“I don’t feel strong. I feel weak and useless.”
“Well, I don’t think you’re either of those things. You don’t give up. It must have been hard as hell to come here and ask me for help, and yet you did it.”
“I’m a failure,” she admitted, resting her face against his chest. She breathed in his scent. She’d dreamed of having him touch her like this again.