Wilde (Bad Boys of Wildeside) Read online

  “I’m not in pain, Wilde. I need to come! Please!”

  “Fuck, I love hearing you beg me.” That breathless note of arousal in her voice had my dick pounding. I gritted my teeth, striving for control.

  She pushed back against me and I moved, driving my hips back and forth. Need became an angry storm inside me, lightning that needed an outlet. I tapped my finger against her clit

  “Come. Come now!” I screamed.

  She exploded around me, and I was gone. Two more desperate thrusts and I came. Black spots filled my vision. Fuck, she felt so good I came close to collapsing. I leaned my weight on my arms, breathing heavily as I tried to calm my racing heart.

  I pulled back and stared down at my half-erect cock. Streaks of blood stained it. Her blood. Cassie turned around. The dreamy warmth in her gaze quickly became a watchful wariness.

  “Wilde?” She reached for me, but I stepped back. Moving into the small attached bathroom I quickly cleaned up. As I wet a washcloth for her I stared at myself in the mirror.

  What had I done? I’d made a pact with myself. I’d told myself I couldn’t have her, because I’d always known Cassie was different, that once wouldn’t be enough.

  Now I’d taken her virginity. And taken her hard. I’d spanked her. Fucked her.

  Cassie had saved herself. She’d kept her virginity for a reason, probably hoping for something special and memorable. Well, this was certainly memorable, but not in a good way.

  She deserved someone gentle, and all I could give her was rough sin. I’d been right all along. I wasn’t good enough for her. I had too much of my father in me. That bastard had destroyed my mother. I wouldn’t do that to anyone, especially not Cassie. Moving back into my office I caught her trying to slip her panties on.

  “Sit on the desk and part your legs,” I barked at her.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “That wasn’t a request, Cassie. Move it.” I took a deep breath. I was angry at myself and taking it out on her. “Cassie, sit on the desk.”

  She watched me warily, but with a wince sat on the desk, her red panties dangling from one hand.

  “Part your legs,” I ordered quietly.

  “Wilde. . .”

  I moved between her legs before she could protest, placing the warm washcloth on her pussy.

  “Jesus, Wilde.” She went bright red. It was cute, but it only highlighted the differences between us. There was nothing that embarrassed me anymore.

  “This will help with the pain. I’m going to call a town car for you.” I should tale her home myself, but I needed some space between us. “When you get home, soak in the tub, it will help.”

  “Have a lot of experience with virgins, do you?” she asked bitterly.

  “No, you’re my first,” I told her. “Are you still on the pill?”

  “What?” she asked, frowning. “How the hell do you know I’m on the pill?”

  “You’re living in my house, it’s my business to know. I didn’t use anything, Cassie.”

  Her cheeks went a deeper red. “I’m still on the pill.”

  “Good, I’m clean. You can see my last doctor’s report if you like, but I’ve never taken anyone else without a condom.”

  “Uh. . .I am too. Clean.”

  “I know,” I told her gently.

  She pushed at my hand. “Enough, Wilde.” Temper filled her face, and I stepped back, giving her space. I called for a town car as she dressed.

  I walked her outside to wait.

  “Cassie?” I said as the car pulled up.

  She turned to look up at me. “Yes?”

  “Don’t let me catch you here again.” I turned and walked away without looking back.

  If I’d been in any doubt before, I now knew I was a total bastard. But it was for the best.

  Cassie

  As I rode home in the town car, my ass burning in my tight, leather pants, I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I thought we’d just had mind-blowing sex. I even thought he might hold me afterward. I snorted. What a fool I was. I knew Wilde wasn’t a gentleman. Softness wasn’t part of his makeup.

  Although, he’d sort of been tender with me; while he was inside me. I blushed. Maybe that was the only time he could be caring. I had been surprised even by that much gentleness.

  I was hurt by the way he’d shut down on me. I hadn’t expected a declaration of love, far from it. That was something I knew never to expect from Wilde. I guess I just didn’t expect to be shoved into a town car and told to go home and never come back.

  The rejection stung. I’d like to say I didn’t look back, but I did. Wilde had already turned away.

  What would I do now? There was no going back from this.

  Guilt filled me as we pulled up outside Wilde’s house. I climbed out of the car, moving slowly. The driver said goodnight before pulling away. I stared up at the house and wondered if I should even stay here anymore? How could I, knowing what we’d done?

  Even worse, knowing he regretted it.

  And then there was my mother. She was married to him. How could I look her in the eyes? I felt ill with regret. Though, they’d never seemed like a normal couple. One day, if I ever spoke to him again, I’d ask him why the hell he’d married her.

  Right now, I’d check in on my mother, have a shower, and pretend to sleep until dawn came.

  Wilde

  She was an innocent. She had no business coming anywhere near me.

  Since the day she’d turned eighteen, I’d fantasized about this day. I had wondered. I had dreamed. How many times had I come with my hand around my dick and her name on my lips? Nothing could have compared to having her soft, tight passage around my hard cock.

  I grew hard just thinking about pushing my dick inside her. Reaching down, I squeezed my cock, my eyes nearly rolling up in my head.

  I knew once wouldn’t be enough. But she didn’t deserve what I would do to her. I might care for her more than any of the other woman I’d taken to my bed, but in the end, I would always want everything on my terms. My way.

  Cassie was too innocent for the things I would do to her. I had always known it.

  Was this how my old man had started off? Had his need for control morphed into violence? I couldn’t become him. I ground my teeth at the thought of ever treating Cassie the way my father had treated my mother.

  He’d turned on the person he’d claimed to love. He was the reason she’d left us both.

  It was why I kept myself so tightly under control. It was safer that way. There was darkness inside me. Same as him.

  Maybe I should divorce Francis, set them up in their own house. That would ensure Cassie was never touched by my darker side.

  The door wasn’t locked, but no one would dare enter without my permission. Taking my cock out of my pants, I ran my hand up and down the shaft.

  I stroked faster, squeezing hard. The image of Cassie leaning over my desk, her ass pink and plump, filled my mind. My hand quickened as I drew closer to the edge, my breath coming in harsh pants until I came with a low groan.

  Shit. That was the quickest I’d come since I’d found my father’s porn collection when I was fourteen. I moved slowly into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Leaning on the small sink I stared into the bathroom mirror.

  What the fuck had I done?

  What I’ve always done. I saw something I wanted, and I took it. Ruined it. But I wouldn’t ruin her. Fuck, maybe I was actually growing a conscience or something. I don’t know. I only knew was that when it came to Cassie, the rules changed.

  Chapter Three

  Cassie

  I stared at the door to mom’s bedroom. Jesus, what was wrong with me? Was I really going to walk in there and tell her I’d fucked her husband, I was sorry, and I was leaving?

  “Idiot,” I whispered to myself.

  Ten nights had passed since Darcy and I had snuck into WildeSide. During that time, I’d seen Wilde maybe twice. If I didn’t know him better, I’d think he was feeling
as guilty as I was. But Wilde was used to sleeping around; hell mom was too. He and mom didn’t exactly have a loving, monogamous relationship.

  It still didn’t make what we’d done right. I’d fucked my mother’s husband, and the guilt was eating me. Plus, Wilde was avoiding me. He’d obviously prefer that I was anywhere but here.

  It had been a disaster all the way around. And the only way I could think to fix any of it was to leave. I had my bags packed. I was going to stay at Darcy’s for a while, so I could figure everything out. I only had a few months until I graduated then I could move away, get a job, forget all of this ever happened.

  Yeah right.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was obsessed. What was wrong with me?

  I knocked on mom’s door before I lost my nerve. No answer. That wasn’t a surprise. I prayed she was dressed as I stepped inside.

  “Mom, I need to—” I came to a stop, my world tilting on its axis as I saw her on the bed. She lay still. So still. One hand was flung out, across the bed. I moved closer though I didn’t want to. I wanted to turn around and leave, to forget I’d ever come in here.

  I grabbed her hand. Cold. So cold. “Mom?”

  She stared up at me, her eyes lifeless. “Mom? Please, please, no.”

  I felt frantically for a pulse. Nothing. I shook her. “Mom?” No response.

  I could barely think. Barely move. I reached into my pocket for my phone and dialed 911 with fingers that trembled so badly I nearly dropped it. The operator wanted me to stay on the phone. But I couldn’t. There was only one person I wanted right now.

  Wilde.

  Wilde

  My cell rang, and I growled, pulling myself away from the pile of applications sitting on my desk. I hated paperwork. It was a damn headache.

  “Yeah,” I barked.

  “Wilde. Wilde.” Sobs hit my ear and focused me immediately.

  “Cassie? Jesus, what is it?” Had she been in an accident? Had she been attacked? If she had, God help whoever hurt her, because I would be coming for them.

  “She’s dead. She’s dead, Wilde.”

  “Who?” I barked.

  “Mom. She’s dead. I can’t find a pulse. Please, help her, Wilde.”

  My heart stuttered, stopped for a second, then beat rapidly as I stood and reached for my jacket.

  “Wait for me. Don’t do anything. I’m on my way.”

  “I called the ambulance, should I not have?” Her small voice hit something inside me. Something deep and buried. I built my shields up immediately. Cassie had always had the power to make me feel.

  I didn’t like it.

  “It’s okay, baby. It’s all going to be okay.”

  I raced home, not caring about the speed limit. When I arrived, a police car and ambulance were already in the drive. I tore up the stairs to the house. A cop met me at the front door.

  “Can I help you, sir?”

  “Let me in,” I snarled at the much younger cop. If he didn’t get out of my way, I would make him. I didn’t give a shit that he was a cop. “This is my house. You cannot keep me from her.”

  “Wilde?”

  I glanced up as she walked out of the living room. Tears dripped down her face as she stood watching me, her green eyes wide in her pale face. Her arms crept around her body. God, she looked so young. So vulnerable. Something inside me snapped. The last bit of resistance that had kept me from her disappeared. I walked forward and drew her into my arms.

  “It’s okay, baby,” I whispered. “I’m here.”

  “She’s dead. She’s dead, Wilde.”

  Maybe I was a bastard to think it, but Francis had lived longer than I’d thought she would. But Cassie shouldn’t have been the one to find her. I cursed myself for spending so much time at the club lately. If I’d been here as I should have, she wouldn’t have gone through this alone.

  She trembled in my arms. So small and fragile. Those protective instincts I’d long thought buried roared to the surface.

  “Ms. Carter?” Another policeman stepped forward from of the room he and Cassie had been in. Cassie hadn’t taken on my last name when I’d married her mother. “I still have a few more questions.”

  I scowled at him until he took a few steps back. “They can wait until morning. Can’t you see she’s distraught? Get what you need then get the body out of here.” Cassie let out a small sob. “I need to take care of my stepdaughter. I’ll be back shortly to talk to you.”

  I swung her up into my arms and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. She felt so light. I moved into her room, my gaze immediately caught on the pieces of luggage at the end of the bed.

  “Going somewhere?” I asked quietly.

  She sniffled, wiping her hands across her eyes. “I was leaving.”

  “Why?” I moved into the bathroom and set her on the counter.

  “Why? Seriously? Um, maybe because you’re married to my mother, and I slept with you?”

  “So you were just going to leave? Without saying goodbye?” My stomach clenched into a knot. She’d been going to leave me? I turned on the bath then turned back to her.

  “You don’t want me here, Wilde.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Ah, maybe the fact I’ve only seen you for two minutes in the last ten days, and even then you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to me.”

  She sniffed again. “I was walking in to tell her, when, when. . .”

  “Oh, Cassie.” I took her into my arms again, wishing I knew what to say to her, how to help her. But I was worthless in the face of her misery. I hadn’t cared for Francis; I felt very little over her death except what it meant to Cassie. It amazed me how she could love her mother, despite how the other woman had let her down time and again. “I’m sorry you had to walk in on that.”

  She nodded. I pulled away and turned off the bath. “I want you to soak in the tub. I’ll go get rid of them then I’ll be in to check on you. Do you need help getting undressed?”

  “I think I can manage.”

  I moved to the door then turned back. “Cassie, you’re not going anywhere, understand?”

  She looked over at me, her face drawn and vulnerable.

  “I’ll take care of everything—and you. But you can’t leave.” I didn’t think too hard about why I didn’t want her to leave. Hell, I’d had the exact same thought. Except now, the idea of her not living here filled me with dread.

  “Okay, Wilde. I’ll stay—for now.”

  I figured that would have to do.

  Chapter Four

  Cassie

  Mom was dead.

  I stared out my bedroom window at the large oak tree. A bird bounced around, chirping happily. How many times had I snuck out that window to attend a party, just hoping she’d catch me? That she might actually care what I did.

  Hell, who was I kidding? She’d probably have cheered me on. Or insisted on coming with me. Sadly, I’d always been the more mature one. The older I’d grown, the less she seemed to notice me. After we’d moved in with Wilde, she’d grown worse, completely living in her own world, leaving Wilde as the stable parent.

  I crinkled my nose. I didn’t like to think of Wilde like that. We didn’t have a daddy-daughter relationship. Yeah, he’d taken on a dominant role, but not a parental one.

  What would happen now that mom was gone? Would he want me to leave? He’d insisted I stay the other night. I’d agreed because the thought of leaving right then had been more than I could bear, but with mom gone there was nothing holding us together. After that disastrous encounter in his office the other night there had been a distance between us. I could tell he was uncomfortable around me.

  He obviously regretted fucking me. I don’t even know why he did it. He could have any woman he wanted, why me? Was it because I’d been convenient? I was under no illusion that he’d been faithful to mom. She certainly hadn’t been faithful to him.

  Wilde would never settle down with just o
ne woman. That wasn’t who he was. And I needed to keep telling myself that.

  Should I go before he asked me to leave? Where would I go? Mom and I hadn’t been close, but she was the only family I had. And now there was just me.

  I rolled onto my back, placing my arm over my swollen eyes. I wish I could stop crying. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I tried, I saw her lifeless stare.

  “Shit. Shit. Shit.” My life was falling apart and I had no way of keeping it all together.

  I wiped at my wet cheeks. Why was I so upset? Mom had zonked out on me years ago. We hadn’t been close, but she was still my mom—and I’d fucked her husband.

  I was an awful person. A terrible daughter.

  “God. God.” I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.

  A knock on the door made me groan. There was only one person that could be. We’d held the funeral today, but there had been no reception afterward. There’d been nobody to invite back to the house. Only Wilde and I had attended. Darcy had offered to come. I told her not to bother. It had been something just the two of us needed to do.

  “Go away,” I called out.

  There was silence then the door handle turned. Wilde strode inside.

  I sat up, glaring at him with indignation. “It was locked.”

  He held up a key. “My house.”

  “So I’m allowed no privacy?”

  “Not in the mood you’re in,” he replied, moving towards the bed. I sat up and placed my arms around my bent legs, pulling them into my chest.

  “And what mood is that?” I asked nastily.

  He studied me, and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the extra lines in his face. He looked tired, as though he wasn't sleeping.

  That made two of us.

  “Sad. Angry. Resentful.”

  I puffed out a breath and looked away from him. “I want to be alone.”

  “No.” He sat on the bed next to me. Too close. His scent teased me. I found myself leaning towards him and I immediately straightened.

  “I’m not going to commit suicide if that’s what you think.” I wanted to drive him away. I wanted him close. Fuck. I was a mess.