For The Love Of Sir Read online

  Sam grinned and winked at Alex, letting him know he wasn’t concerned by the idea of punishment at all. Brat.

  Alex decided it was best to come clean with Roarke before someone else did. He didn’t need this job. He earned a good wage as a software engineer for a computer company. He’d taken this job as a favor to Roarke, but he found he really enjoyed managing the team of submissives that worked for club Decadence. He respected Roarke and he didn’t like the thought of letting him down.

  “Roarke, can I talk to you in private?” he asked.

  Roarke looked at him. “This about the little scene you just had with Sloan?”

  Alex raised his eyebrows. “Someone told you already.”

  Roarke chuckled. “You should know by now that everyone here is a terrible gossip.”

  “I’m sorry—”

  “It was a matter of time before someone got in Sloan’s face. The man is a mouthy bastard. Didn’t expect it to be you, but then I didn’t factor in Tara.”

  Alex frowned. “What do you mean you didn’t factor in Tara?”

  Roarke sighed and looked down at Sam. “Stay here, Sam. And keep out of trouble, hear me?”

  Sam grinned and winked. “Trouble? Me? I’ll be a perfect angel.”

  Roarke gave him a stern look but Alex saw the amusement in his eyes. Alex followed him into Dylan’s office.

  “You’re growing soft in your old age,” Alex said to the other man.

  Roarke smiled as he poured out two drinks and handed one to Alex, who sat on an armchair. Roarke took a seat on the sofa.

  “I’m happy. Sure, I was happy when it was just Sam and me. But Ava added the icing on the cake and now we have a baby on the way; well, life couldn’t get much better.”

  Alex ignored the stab of envy, telling himself that he didn’t want that life. He was happy alone. Being involved with someone just led to pain and he refused to go through that again.

  He took a sip of his drink. “You deserve it, old friend.” Roarke had his own demons he’d had to overcome to find happiness with Ava and Sam.

  “How is Ava?” Alex asked.

  “She’s tired. We left her sleeping. I want to get back to her soon. First, though, I want to talk to you about Tara.”

  “What about her?”

  “It’s obvious you care about her, Alex. Sloan likes to stir things up, but he never bothered you until he showed an interest in Tara. Some of the club members have told me that they’re reluctant to play with Tara because they feel like they’re stepping on your toes.”

  Alex narrowed his gaze at Roarke. “I’ve never made a claim on her. She’s free to play with whoever she chooses.”

  “So why did you nearly hit Sloan?”

  “Because he’s a smart-mouthed asshole.” Alex finished off his drink and stood. He didn’t need the lecture. He opened the office door. “I need to get back out there.”

  Roarke stood as well. “Alex, don’t let what happened with your ex color your feelings toward Tara. She’s not Simone. Tara is a sweet, loving person. It’s not fair to compare her to your ex-wife. If you don’t want her, then let her find someone else who does.”

  “I’m not standing in her way,” Alex said stiffly, turning back to look at Roarke. “I’ve never said anything to Tara to make her assume otherwise.”

  “I’m sure you haven’t. But everyone sees the way you stare at her. It’s the same way she watches you. Like you’re starving for her. No one wants to come between the two of you.”

  Alex sighed. “Fine, I’ll stop staring at her. Are you happy now?”

  “No,” Roarke said quietly. “I’d be much happier if you stopped being an idiot and went after what you wanted. I just want you both to be happy. You’re the Dom, take charge and make the first move.”

  “Actually, Tara already made the first move.”

  It might have been petty, but he couldn’t help but take pleasure in Roarke’s surprise.

  “And? What happened?”

  “It’s none of your business.” The memory of her devastated eyes still haunted him. He’d been unable to sleep that night, playing the conversation over in his head; the memory of her trembling voice as she’d told him that she cared about him. She’d asked him out for coffee and he’d rewarded her bravery by turning her down flat. Oh, he’d tried to do it kindly, but was there any way to reject someone without hurting them?

  “Christ, you turned her down, didn’t you? It must have taken her weeks to work up the guts to ask you and you rejected her.” Roarke’s voice held a hint of censure and Alex had to take a deep breath before he spoke, certain he’d say something he would regret.

  What was wrong with him? He had exceptional control over his temper. Even when he’d discovered that his ex-wife was cheating on him he’d remained calm and collected.

  When it came to Tara, his control became frayed around the edges.

  “Tara is looking for commitment. I can’t give that to her.” He wasn’t looking for a relationship.

  “Proposed, did she?”

  Alex sent him an exasperated look. “Of course not. But Tara isn’t a one-night stand, she deserves more.”

  “For God’s sake, Alex, you’ve got to at least date a person before you dump them. Don’t you think you were jumping the gun?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt her.”

  “No, I’m sure she walked away from your rejection on cloud nine. Did you explain any of this to her or did you just show her the door?”

  He’d beaten himself up about this enough; he didn’t need it from Roarke as well.

  “This is my life, Roarke. It has nothing to do with you,” he said in a low voice.

  “It does when it spills over into your behavior in my club. This isn’t like you, Alex. I can always rely on you to keep your head.”

  “I’ve apologized,” Alex said stiffly. “If you want me to quit you just have to say so.”

  Roarke sighed. “When did you get so sensitive? Of course I don’t want you to quit. But if you truly don’t want her then you can’t scare off the other Doms who want to play with her.”

  Alex nodded stiffly as his stomach clenched into a knot. He knew Roarke was right. He didn’t intend to do anything about his feelings for Tara, but he didn’t want anyone else touching her. It wasn’t fair.

  “Fine,” Alex said shortly. “If that’s all…”

  Roarke nodded, looking tired. He held out his hand. “We still good?”

  “I know you’re just looking out for Tara. I’d think less of you if you weren’t.” Alex walked out into the corridor, making his way toward the main play room. He frowned when he saw Carin in the corridor.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice harsher than he’d intended. She looked a little frazzled, which was unusual for the normally over-confident sub.

  “I came to see if you wanted me to start my shift earlier?” she asked.

  He watched her suspiciously. Carin was one of the new waitresses they’d taken on. He didn’t know her well, but there was something about her he didn’t trust.

  “No,” he told her.

  “Oh, it’s just that Tara looks so tired. I thought she might like to finish early and go home to rest.”

  “Tara will be fine. If she’s not, I will let you know. Aren’t you supposed to be doing a scene with Mitch?”

  Mitch was one of the younger Doms. Carin wrinkled her nose, but moved away quickly without another word.

  Alex put Carin from his mind as the entered the play room. He spent the next few hours talking to other Doms, watching over the wait and bar staff as well as helping a couple of the more inexperienced Doms with their technique.

  He barely had time to think about Tara. Maybe this would be easier than he thought; he just had to keep himself busy.

  He headed towards the bar, glad the night was growing quieter.

  “Red! Hey, help. Over here!”

  He turned at the loud voice and raced over, dodging people who didn’t get out of the way quick enough.

  His heart nearly stopped as he saw Tara, looking pale and lifeless, slumped in Sloan’s arms. He moved toward them, wanting to snatch her out of the other man’s arms but worried that he might hurt her. Instead he reached out and cupped her face. She was freezing.

  “What did you do?” he snapped at Sloan.

  “Nothing,” Sloan snapped back, tension evident in his stiff body. “We were just warming up when she slumped over, unconscious.”

  People were huddled around them, watching as Sloan carried Tara to a sofa and gently laid her down.

  Alex crouched beside her. “Somebody bring me a blanket and some water. And find Nate.” Nate worked as an ambulance officer.

  A blanket was quickly handed to him and he tucked it around her as Sloan crouched down beside him. He barely refrained from pushing the other man away.

  Around him people murmured quietly.

  “The rest of you get back to what you were doing,” he barked. The last thing Tara needed was to wake up and find everyone gawking at her.

  They moved away just as Nate arrived.

  “What happened?” Nate asked in a brisk voice.

  “I don’t know.” Alex looked at Sloan accusingly.

  The other man ignored him, addressing Nate. “Everything was fine. I checked in with her and she was all good then suddenly she just slumped over. I yelled for help then untied her and carried her over here.”

  Nate was taking her pulse as Sloan spoke. He nodded. “Pulse is okay. She’s breathing all right. Looks like she probably just fainted.”

  Alex stared down at her in worry. Why wasn’t she opening her eyes? She moaned quietly then opened her eyes, blinking rapidly.

  “Wh-what happened?”

  All three men reached out to stop her from sitting up. Alex glared at the other two. Nate backed off with a grin. Sloan just glared back at him.

  “This was my scene, my sub, so back off, old man” Sloan snarled.

  Alex instantly saw red. “She is not yours.”

  Sloan got in his face. “She’s not yours, either.”

  “Both of you, shut up,” Nate snapped.

  “Wh-what happened?” Tara asked quietly, looking at them with alarm. “Why are you both so angry? Did I do something wrong?”

  There was a vulnerable note in her voice as she looked at them anxiously. Alex ignored Sloan, turning all his attention on her.

  “You fainted, baby,” he told her in a low voice. “Are you in any pain?”

  “I fainted? Where? Why?” Suddenly her eyes grew wide and she glanced at Sloan. “Oh, please tell me I didn’t faint during our scene?”

  “Afraid so,” Sloan said. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?”

  Alex didn’t like the accusation in his voice. “This wasn’t her fault,” he snapped.

  “Are you accusing me of hurting her?” Sloan snarled back.

  “Jesus, will you two stop acting like juveniles and focus on the important thing,” Nate snapped at both of them. He placed two fingers under Tara’s chin, tilting her face up. “How are you feeling, darlin’?” he asked.

  Guilt filled Alex. He really was acting like a child. He needed to get his act together. Tara was his responsibility.

  “Umm, okay. A bit confused.” She was looking up at him and Sloan worriedly.

  “When was the last time you ate?” Nate asked.

  She frowned a little, thinking.

  “If you have to think this hard then it was too long ago,” Nate told her.

  “I had a sandwich for lunch,” she said defensively.

  “Twelve hours ago?” Alex growled, angry that she wasn’t taking care of herself and that he had no right to make sure she did.

  “I wasn’t hungry,” she said. She turned her gaze from him to look at Sloan. “I’m sorry I ruined the scene, Sir.” There was a wobble to her voice that immediately made Alex want to take her into his arms. “I can get back into position now.” She tried to rise. Alex quickly grabbed her.

  “Stay where you are,” he growled. “No more playing for you tonight.”

  “Alex is right,” Sloan said. “You need to rest.”

  “I’m sorry I ruined things. Guess I made a real fool of myself.” Her cheeks grew red.

  “No one thinks that,” Alex told her firmly. “But if you weren’t feeling well you should have let your Dom know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay. I’m just glad you’re all right.” Sloan squeezed her hand. “I’ll drive you home.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Nate said as she shook her head. “You need some food and rest. You should visit your doctor as well, to check everything is okay. You’re a bit too pale for my liking.” Nate stood.

  “Thanks, Nate,” Alex told him. Nate nodded then left. Alex looked over at Sloan. “I’ll take her home.”

  “She fainted during my scene.” Sloan glared at him. “I’ll take care of her.”

  “No, she’s my responsibility.”

  “You have others to look after. You can’t just leave. I’ll take her home,” Sloan insisted stubbornly.

  Tara sighed and sat up. Both men immediately grabbed hold of her, holding her steady. “I’m fine,” she told them. “I can get myself home.”

  “You’re not driving,” Alex told her firmly. “You might faint again and run off the road.”

  “That’s fine,” she told him, “because I don’t drive. I’ll take a bus.”

  Like hell. “You’re not taking a bus at this time of night.”

  “Why not? I do it every other night,” she replied.

  She took the bus home at night? Most of the time she didn’t leave here until two or three in the morning. He’d assumed she drove or at least took a taxi.

  “Sir? Are you okay?” She looked at him worriedly.

  He sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He’d never allow his sub to take the bus, especially at night. Tara might not be his but he could do something about this.

  “I don’t like you taking public transportation after dark,” he told her.

  “Then how do you expect me to get home?” she asked.

  “The club will pay for you to take a taxi.” He’d pay for it, if necessary. He didn’t care. Although he had a feeling once he told Roarke, he’d happily cover the cost. Alex made a mental note to check in with the other waitresses to ensure they had safe transport home.

  Sloan cleared his throat.

  “I’m taking her home,” Alex snapped at Sloan. “Go find someone else to play with.”

  “You’re working,” she protested as he helped her stand, placing an arm around her waist.

  “Sloan can take over,” he said.

  “So I’m not good enough to look after Tara, but you’ll trust me with all the others?” Sloan asked with amusement.

  “Yes,” Alex replied. He didn’t care what anyone read into it. He didn’t care than just hours ago he’d decided to stay well away from Tara, to give her a chance to find a Dom.

  Right now, all he cared about was looking after her.

  Chapter Two

  Alex looked around the apartment in barely-concealed horror. This is where Tara lived? He wouldn’t let a dog live here. Not that it was unclean or untidy. He doubted she had enough stuff for it to ever get messy.

  The living area was small with just two small windows to allow light in. The kitchen took up one wall. It had a refrigerator that was so tiny he wondered how much food would actually fit in it. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls and the worn carpet was a horrid yellow-brown color. He couldn’t tell if that was the actual color or it was just badly stained.

  There were two doors leading off the living room. He opened both of them. One led to a bathroom with mustard-colored fixtures. The other was storage.

  “Where is your bedroom?” he asked.

  “It’s a studio apartment,” she said. “You’re in my bedroom. You really didn’t have to walk me inside.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You expected me to just let you walk in alone? In this neighborhood?”

  “The neighborhood isn’t as bad as it looks. And I have an alarm.”

  Alex glanced at the alarm system. Astonishingly, it actually looked top of the line.

  “I’m surprised these apartments have alarms,” he said. He moved over to the fridge, unable to resist looking in. There was a half-full carton of orange juice, some eggs and a few carrots.

  “Will you stop snooping around,” she ordered, walking over to the threadbare sofa. She sat down with a sigh.

  “You’d think they would fix the holes in the wall before bothering with an alarm,” Alex said as he prowled around. A crate with a blanket over it acted as her coffee table. On top of it were a pile of books.

  “The other apartments don’t have alarms,” she told him tiredly.

  He frowned as he wondered how she could afford it.

  “It was a gift from a friend,” she added.

  Alex stiffened at her words. His wife had had lots of ‘gifts’ from friends. He’d only learned later that those friends were men she was sleeping with.

  “Is that so?” he said coldly.

  “What?” she asked looking at him in confusion. “Yes, have you got a problem with that?”

  “What kind of friend? That’s a very expensive gift for a friend to give you.”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked with exasperation. “What do you care how much it cost?”

  “Just wondering what you gave them in return.”

  She jumped to her feet then let out a low moan and nearly crumpled to the floor. He grabbed her before she could land, scooping her up into his arms. He groaned at the feel of her soft body against his.

  Tara barely weighed a thing and he remembered that she’d said she hadn’t eaten in hours. He’d given her a chocolate bar at the club, but that wasn’t enough.

  “Put me down,” she ordered, wriggling in his arms.

  “Lie still,” he growled as he placed her back on the sofa. She tried to sit up, but he held her down, kneeling on the floor beside her. “Stay there.”

  “I just stood up too quickly, I’m fine.”

  He gave her a firm look. “You nearly fainted again. I’m ordering you some takeout.”

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